The Funny Side of Wine – Humorous Wine Quotes

Wine often comes across as stuffy and snobby. Wine, however, is an alcoholic beverage and has a humorous side as well. The following funny wine quotes always make me laugh and I hope they bring a smile to your face as well. Many of these were found on friends Facebook pages and Twitter streams. Enjoy, pin away and share. Enjoy life with friends, drink happy.

This will get you everywhere, every time with a guy. What can I  say, we’re pretty simple folk.

Another reason why I prefer PCs over MACs – they just seem to understand me.

Ain’t this the truth. You’re not a true friend if you let your buddy sip on the White Zin.

Classic quote. I’ve seen this at several friends houses.

Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes and it’s our job to stomp on them, keep them in the dark, until they mature into something you’d like to have dinner with.

No one likes a quitter. Drink up!

No comment!

So that is why the the Christmas tree always dries up before Christmas.

Do the right thing…make the call…don’t be that guy.

One of my all time favorite wine quotes…ain’t it the truth!

A Look Back at One Year of Nectar – Success and Opportunity

Year one of Nectar Tasting Room is in the books and it has been a year of incredible life, business, and marketing lessons. Being a business owner I have experienced some moments of extreme joy, gratitude, frustration and sheer terror. Nectar is my first business venture and as an entrepreneurial virgin I learned a great deal during the first year. I’m not offering any of this as expert advice to young start ups, rather consider it some viewpoints from someone who went down the road and experienced a modest amount of success and a great deal of opportunities for growth.

Things that didn’t work

I’ll start with the biggest areas of opportunity that I learned and observed from the first year.

Plan more

This seems like a simple no brainer but a lot of energy goes into opening a business and making projections, securing funds, getting permits and just opening the flippin’ doors, planning the details of a full year of events and activities can be a challenge. At Nectar we overlooked the various events that pulled people out of the downtown core, the nuances of local events like Hoopfest, Armed Forces Lilac Parade, and the summer exodus for many Spokane residents.

In 2012 we have these events locked in and will be marketing differently during the summer. The best advice I can give to a start up is to take a moment to plan. When you’ve got things planned out, sit down with a group of business friends and plan even more. When that is over, keep planning.

Get organized

One of my biggest struggles this year was staying organized and on top of all the little details. Some of this comes from the fact I am still managing a full time day job, was going through a divorce, and was also building the foundations for other business opportunities. Being unorganized caused too many things to sneak up on me that made us less productive and less profitable.

This year I am organizing my files and will hand over some of the details to someone else. Many start ups are too small to afford an assistant but struggle with the time to manage everything. Focus on the areas you are good at (for me it’s marketing and communication) and delegate some of the other areas (for me that would be finance and payroll).

We are a winery

While our space looks/feels like a wine bar, we are actually a winery; FIVE of them in one space. One struggle this year has been marketing one of our biggest strengths. Visitors get to experience FIVE Washington wineries and over 40+ wines in one location. We focus on wine education, showcase unique varietals, and also have the space to sit down and enjoy a glass of wine. A focus this year will be getting the word out about the wineries in the spot and hosting more and more Saturday / Sunday afternoon wine tasting traffic.

What worked

During our anniversary weekend I was asked over and over, “Did the first year meet your expectations?” That is a difficult question because I have VERY high expectations. Did we meet sales projections? Not quite, but that was mostly due to an unexpectedly slow summer. Did we make money (which is the key question)? Yes, but not enough to quit my day job. I AM very proud of what we accomplished in year one and Spokane residents must agree because we were voted by Inland Business Catalyst Magazine as the “Best Business Start Up” for the year. Below are the key contributors to our success and I encourage any start up to place your focus here.

Social sells

Over and over again relationship marketing through Facebook and Twitter proved to be the best drivers of traffic. The relationships built through social networks extended beyond the internet into face to face with so many significant partnerships. Success stories include visitors from San Francisco, Washington DC and even Australia who started following my blog through Twitter. Each of these people spent money at Nectar. We also exclusively marketed many events just through our social networks and email list (now over 1000 strong). Many of these events were sold out or packed including the Spokane Wine Magazine release party (close to 100 people), New Year’s Eve event, and our Wine and Dine dinners. Staying completely social, we hosted over 40 people for a tweetup in December. The largest gathering so far for this type of event in Spokane.

A side note to this online marketing is the success of sites like Groupon and Deal Planet. We ran three deals in 2011 and have seen so much positive response. When using these deal sites, there are several important things to consider. Check out my post “Five Tips for Thriving with Groupon”

Membership has its privileges

I love my members. They are the biggest ambassadors and supporters we have. Now over 300 strong, our club membership is the most consistent driver of bottle sales and event tickets. Many of our members make visiting Nectar a regular routine of their weekly schedule. We will continue to look for ways to add value for our club members to reward them for their loyalty. If you’re not a member, check out our two wine clubs (Club Nectar and Quarterly Sip). You can even join online.

Giving back

It is important to give back to the community in which you do business. Spokane has given Nectar their support and we eagerly jump on opportunities to support charity events and non-profit organizations. We were proud to offer discounted or free event rental services to the following non-profits this year; National Association of Business Women, Green Drinks, Spokane Symphony, American Childhood Cancer Organization Inland Northwest, Project Beauty Share, Make a Wish Foundation, and Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. Collectively these organizations raised over $10,000 at their events and Nectar was proud to donate over $1000 in 2011.

Key areas of focus for 2012

I recently completed a S.W.O.T. (Strength, Weakness, Opportunity, and Threat) analysis for Nectar. Below are the key areas of focus that you will see to make 2012 even better than 2011. The foundations have been set, now it’s time to launch into the stratosphere of success!

• Menu partnership with 4-5 restaurants that surround Nectar. Offering a greater food option to our guests.
• Introduce a small amount of retail product as the year progresses
• Consistent calendar of events (dinner, wine classes, and new events)
• Greater partnership with local non-profits and charities
• Brand merchandise – soon you’ll be able to wear your Nectar loyalty
• Event coordinator and space rental – We have one of the most beautiful spaces in the heart of downtown Spokane. Our goal is to have the space rented 6-10 times per month for groups of 20-100. Check out our EVENT PAGE for details.
• More consistent blogging. Yep – it drives traffic. Google search is a key driver of business.

Spicy Spaghetti Featured in Signature Tastes of Spokane Cookbook

I am not a cook. In fact, as a busy bachelor, I rarely find time to make myself anything to eat at all. My cooking repertoire consists of great French Toast (and if you’re eating those, then we have come a long way in our friendship), fajitas, anything on the barbeque, and a spicy spaghetti recipe that I picked up somewhere in the journey of life. Being considered for cookbook was the last thing I expected.

Signature Tastes of Spokane brings together over 100 favorite recipes from our local kitchen and includes great recipes from chefs at Ambrosia Bistro, C.I. Shenanigans, Hay J’s Bistro, Masselow’s, Steam Plant, Twigs, and Wild Sage…then, there’s me and my spicy spaghetti.

Pick up a copy of Signature Tastes of Spokane at Aunties Bookstore or Barnes and Noble

(by Steven W. Siler and Nicole L. Manganaro)

Hope you enjoy!

• 1 (24oz) jar of your favorite spaghetti sauce – This varies for me. I’ll often use garden style when I know I’m in a hurry and won’t have the time to slice and dice a lot of ingredients.
• 1 (6oz) can of tomato paste – This will thicken up the sauce a bit
• 1(15oz) can of Hunts diced tomatoes with green chilies
• 1 Jalapeño pepper, diced (you may want to start with just 1/2 to see how spicy the dish is)
• 3-4 cloves of diced garlic
• 1/2 onion diced
• Fresh Oregano (add to desired taste)
• Fresh Basil (add to desired taste)
• 1lb lean ground beef
• 1/2 lb of Italian sausage (optional)
• Pasta noodles of choosing

Instructions -

In a large pan brown the ground beef and Italian sausage over medium heat stirring frequently. Add some fresh chopped oregano, fresh chopped basil, and a dash of garlic salt to taste. Drain the excess grease for a more healthy dish

In a large sauce pot add the jar of spaghetti sauce, tomato paste, diced tomatoes w/ green chilies, jalapeño, garlic, onion and spices. Bring to a slow rolling boil, then add the meat.

Boil noodles for approximately 10 minutes with a little olive oil (tablespoon), drain and serve.

Wine Pairing-

I enjoy this dish with some fresh garlic bread and a simple green salad with a balsamic dressing. Since the spaghetti and balsamic are both fairly acidic, a great wine pairing is Barbera, Primitivo, or a nice Sangiovese. Stop by Nectar Tasting Room, we’ve got some of each.

About Josh Wade

Josh is the owner of Nectar Tasting Room, a modern wine tasting space shared by five Washington wineries in downtown Spokane (120 N. Stevens). Josh also publishes Spokane Wine Magazine and has a consulting company that helps businesses navigate the waters of social media and relationship marketing. Nectar Tasting Room was recently selected by the readers of Inland Business Catalyst Magazine as the top start up of 2011. Readers also selected Josh as one of the 20 under 40 business people in Spokane.  Josh’s web site is one of the most read wine blogs in the country and was recently highlighted on MSNBC.com In his spare time, Josh is the wine consulting co-host of HFNTV’s In the Kitchen with Mike Gonzalez and also enjoys playing guitar and just hanging out with friends.

 

A Toast To Champagne (Infographic)

Bubbly, Champagne, Sparkling Wine – Celebration is a key component to life. Celebrating in life helps sustain momentum and creates positive motion. This New Year’s Eve many readers will be popping corks of all kinds. Check out the fun infographic from our friends at wine.com

Need a little bubbly to celebrate this weekend. Nectar Tasting Room has THREE great sparkling wines. Stop by for 15% off individual bottles and 20% off four or more.

Hard Row to Hoe – Good in Bed

This 2010 brut rose sparkler is made in the traditional methode champenoise way. Using 100% Lake Chelan grapes the 50/50 Pinot Noir / Sangiovese is a beautiful pink color, but not sweet. Enticing aromas of fresh cherry and raspberry with touch of rose petal fill the nose of this beautifully colored wine. On the palate, abundant cherry and strawberry flavors endure from the lush entry to the dry, very long and refreshing finish (retail $40)

 

2001 Northwest Cellars Brut & Brut Rose

These quality bubbles are made from 70% Pinot Noir and 30% Chardonnay from the Willamette Valley, OR. Bottled nearly 10 years ago, the wine is made in the traditional methode champenoise way. A delicious pale gold colour Brut with lively bubbles. Honeyed peaches, nectarine and apricot balance perfectly with tart green apple and lemon zest. The finish is clean and crisp lingering playfully on the palate. The brut rose is a delicate pink color that sparkles with bubbles. Raspberry and blackberry with a touch of quince, floral notes and spice settle into a finish of a lush berry compote. (Retail $31 and $33)

 

Brought To By Wine.com, Purveyors of Fine Wine and Champagne

Nectar Wine Blog Top 10 Wines of 2011

It’s that time of year again for the highly anticipated ‘best of wine’ lists from around the web. At least, I anticipate them. I love reading what people enjoyed throughout the year. Regionally, we each have different wines available to us and over time we align ourselves with the palates and preferences of people we read and friends we interact with.

In 2010 I had the privilege of tasting over 500 different wines and reviewing 168 on this blog. 2011 was a bit more challenging from the writing standpoint but I still managed to taste over 300 wines and review 70 (some of which never made the virtual pages of this site).

See last year’s lists:

• Top 10 Value Wines of 2010
• Top 10 Wines of 2010
• Best of the Wine Web 2010
• For a fun look at the 5 Best Wines You’ll Ever Have – VISIT HERE

#10

2008 Wawawai Canyon Ittero ali Rosse (Washington)

This proprietary blend contains fruit from the three growing regions that Wawawai Canyon uses in their wine. The blend is 62% Syrah, 25% Carmenere, and 13% Petit Verdot. In the glass the wine is very dark and has shimmering jewel tones on the outer rim. Immediately aromas of cedar, campfire smoke, dark raspberries and licorice jump out of the glass. This is one of those wines where the aroma is as intoxicating as the drink. In the mouth the wine is very elegant and thick. I get immediate flavors of dark chocolate covered raspberry fruit, hints of smoke, a black licorice and anise spice as well. The finish is smooth and lingers for several seconds. At $29, the Ittero ali Rosse is a beautiful blend that delivers on all levels. Once the bottle was empty, I found myself wishing I lived among the wheat fields of the Palouse. 4/5

#9

2002 Breaux Vineyards Merlot (Virginia)

Okay, I have to admit. I drank way too much of this wine. Most of you know I’m a Merlot lover, when done right – and this one is done right. It is most likely the age of the wine (going on 10 years) but this was without a doubt the BEST Merlot I had the entire visit to the commonwealth. The wine showed a typical browning from the age and was moderately translucent. LOVED the deep, slightly burnt cherries and dark chocolate that emanated from the glass. For a wine of such age the tannins were still relatively thick and the finish showed a strong amount of fruit and almonds. This is a library wine, so getting it might be a challenge. 4/5

Virginia wine ranks high on my overall experiences of the year. The quality and beauty of the area make it a must tour region of the US. Look for spectacular things from this up and coming wine producing state in the next 10 years.

#8

08 Santa Carolina Reserva de Familia Carmenere (Chile)

Chile’s flagship grape, previously mistaken for Merlot, shines bright in this wine. The 12 months in French oak are not overpowering and offer the perfect balance of fruit and thickness. After a brief decanting the wine loses the notable burnt rubber aroma and gives way to a beautiful minty blackberry aroma. Smelling this wine was almost as enjoyable as drinking it. The wine is dark and intense in the glass. A slight herbaciousness on the nose gives way to a very complex flavor of red fruit, baking spice and thick plum. A light tannin joins the medium finish on the back end. I often describe wine as being ‘one note wonders’ or just offering ‘two dimensions.’ This Carmenere is the full package of aroma and complex flavor. Again, under $20, scores a strong 4/5.

#7

07 Trapiche Icons Malbec (Argentina)

Taken from a March Madness style wine competition…

The Icons came out ready to dominate. With a bottle twice the weight of the Falling Star it seemed as if the wine didn’t even matter. The 07 Trapiche showed its power with 18 months of aging in new French Oak and amazing aromas of perfume, espresso, and spice. The wine was thick in the mouth without being overbearing. “Oh my god, this is good,” was the comment of the night. 4/5

 

#6

Various Wines from Nectar Tasting Room (Washington)

I made a commitment early on to not post my reviews and scores on the wines at Nectar Tasting Room. I don’t want to show favoritism and I am more interested in YOU discovering what you like about the wines when you come in. Over the year, however, there have been wines that stood tall for my preference. Below is a list (one from each winery) – stop by and try them for yourself.

• 08 Anelare Syrah ($39) – Columbia Valley Syrah was my wine of the year at Nectar – best described as an elegant lady full of lush fruit and a hint of sassy spice.
• 08 Hard Row to Hoe Primitivo ($30) – A big full body of jammy strawberry and spice.
• 01 Northwest Cellars Brut ($31) – An amazing dry brut sparkling wine that stands up against bubbly twice the price.
• 07 Skylite Cellars Reserve Malbec ($49) – An intense mouthful of flavor including blueberry, dark fruits and tobacco.
• 07 Terra Blanca Onyx ($52) – Big traditional Bordeaux style blend from Red Mountain. Loads of fruit and structure sure to cellar well for 20+ years.

#5

08 Mer Soleil Barrel Fermented Chardonnay (California)

I say Chardonnay, you say _______? This statement often polarizes wine drinkers. Many have a hate for the grape and others drink ONLY oaked Chardonnay (ala Kendall Jackson). The Mer Soleil Barrel Fermented Chardonnay provides a very good balance with the oak seeming very light handed. Definitely a thicker viscosity in the mouth feel with great aroma of banana peel, pencil lead, popcorn. Rarely would I spend $32 on a Chardonnay but this is one of the few that has enough variety in the flavor profile that would cause me to part with my cash. 4/5

#4

06 Benessere Phenomenon (California)

With vines planted in 1923 from Collins Vineyards this Zinfandel lives up to what California Zin is known for. The grapes undergo an 23 day extended maceration to slowly extract the flavor before lumbering for 15 months in French and American oak barrels. With a deep color and flecks of jewel toned purple at the rim, the Zin is moderately robust with aromas of blackberry and earth along with tobacco. The palate reminds Ben of cherry Shesha and me of flowers and strawberry jam. If you like fruit forward Zinfandel then this is a wine you will definitely enjoy. The modest price point of $32 makes this an attainable treat too. 4/5

#3

08 Owen Roe DuBrul Vineyards Cabernet (Washington)

This wine was tasted during the 2011 Cabernet Day festivities among several great wines. Produced in Oregon from single vineyard Washington fruit, the Cabernet was extremely dark, extracted and fruit forward. A complexity arose out of the fruit that demonstrated great characteristics of dried plum, tobacco, and a lingering cherry fruit intermixed with the right touch of oak and cedar. At $70+ this is a big boy wine that delivers on all fronts. Drink now and be impressed, be patient for 10 years and be wowed. 4+/5

#2

07 Col Solare Blend (Washington)

Col Solare is one of Chateau St. Michelle Wine Estates premium brands. The winery and vineyard is on the high point of Red Mountain AVA just outside of Kennewick, WA. Col Solare is a partnership of CSMWE and Tuscany’s Marchesi Anteroni. I visited this facility in December and was blown away at the beauty and quality of their Cabernet based blends. The wine is dark and brooding and offers up aromas of dark cocoa, coffee, dark cherry and hints of black tea. The mouth feel is strong and intense with layers of complexity. This is easily one of the better Washington Cabernet based blends on the market that showcase the perfection of the 2007 growing season. 75% Cab, 20% Merlot, 5% Cab Franc; $75, 4+/5

#1

08 Cayuse God Only Knows (Washington)

The “God Only Knows” wine is 90% estate Grenache and 10% ‘god only knows’ according to the web site. The color is a light ruby rust color that is about 60% transparent. The sniff reveals aromas of violets and other floral fragrance. When the wine was first opened, there was a hotness to the nose along with an odd steely aroma. After about 30-40 minutes that fragrance was gone and additional aromas of cranberry and raspberry jumped out of the glass. Hints of clove were also present.

The first sip left me pretty disappointed. The flavor structure was disjointed and the finish left something to be desired. We poured the wine into a decanter and let it sit for about 30 minutes while we chatted about the upcoming holiday. A second effort started to reveal the true magic of this wine. An elegant layer of fruit lays across your tongue like a blanket of velvet that gives way to a rustic earthiness and lingering finish that includes raw meat (trust me it’s good), and silky cherries. In short, God Only Knows is a phenomenal wine…now, I know. This wine is deserving of a very rare 5/5 score.

 

Little White Lies

After seeing the popularity of my last blog, I took notice that people enjoy a good, honest rant. Upon returning from a wine tasting trip with a sour taste in my mouth compliments of piss poor customer service, the words came out rather easily. I find myself today with a similar height of frustration, but from the other side of the counter. As an employee in multiple tasting rooms, I’ve seen my fair share of pretentious people walk through my doors and clearly state their hard-wired preferences right off that bat. Why go into any new situation with an already-made list of things you wont try or test out. Last time I checked, life was for living. If not, someone please forward me the memo stating otherwise. Specifically, I’d like to address the people who claim to only drink “big reds” and refuse a glass of anything white or pink. Oh I get it, your manhood is bigger than mine because of this preference? Am I right? Well, lets dive deeper into why this is NOT the case.

In my ever-lasting goal to bring everyone together, I’ve come up with four kinds of people in regards to wine:

1. Men and women who don’t drink wine at all. They either tried it a few times and never got into the damn thing or choose not to drink at all for various reasons.
2. Men and women who have eagerly taken the first steps to liking wine and still stick to whites, often times leaning towards the sweeter side of life. They aren’t opposed to red wines necessarily, but simply haven’t traveled that far in their journey to full wine appreciation. Drink on!
3. The unfortunate souls…err….men and women who have taken the step into bigger red wines, yet leave white and/or sweeter wines in the dust viewing them as a person they regret ever dating. These people view drinkers of “anything but red” as uneducated, unsophisticated, and as ignorant as they come.
4. Finally! These highly-intelligent, ridiculously-cultured, and scaringly-sexy people that have come full circle and completely understand that all (yes ALL) wine has its place in our hearts, and finding those places are half the fun!

Three of these four categories are completely fine. Group number 3 and their views, however, have created such a heavy presence that many adults are effin’ scared to admit they like enjoy a sweet wine every once in awhile. Why should they be ashamed? As I stated earlier, red, white, and pink can all find a fitting way into our lives. For a couple of examples, sweet wines are a great offset to spicy foods such as Thai and Spanish cuisine.  Whites with great acidity (eg Sauvignon Blanc and many dry Rieslings) can compliment a wide range a meals and have the backbone to cut through a lot of heavy, cream based sauces. Dry rose’s are great palate cleansers that seem to pair with any food you can put on a holiday menu.  Lastly, on a dripping hot summer day, there’s nothing better than a light, refreshing Pinot Gris on the porch.  When were whites seeing as wines for pansies and neanderthals? Personally, I feel whites hold more characteristics to the original grape flavors and have just as much depth as any red you could put in front of me. Disagree? I dare you to send me a red so great, so amazing that it will force me to forget all about whites. If you can, strive to become a number 4 because its truly the right way to live. I try and act cool, but when I’m in the privacy of my own home, I’ll be the first to admit that I turn on Jersey Shore on occasion. Although I should be embarrassed about this, no one should feel insecure when walking up to the bar and ordering a dry white, sweet white or rose. I can speak for most tasting room employees and proclaim our annoyance with the 3^rd group. Get over yourselves. Stop buying big trucks. Drink what you REALLY want to drink.  For most of you, it’s all an act act anyway.  Just be yourselves!  What’s your favorite white wine and why?

 

About The Author

Ben Hilzinger is a wine slinger at Nectar Tasting Room and at Arbor Crest Wine Cellars. During the day he masquerades as an aspiring drum teacher seeking to instill a sense of rhythm in wanna be rockers. In the evening Ben dons his rock star cape and travels the country with @weshotthemoon. Ben hopes to share the love of wine with his generation and has aspirations to be a wine maker. Follow Ben on Twitter @benhilzinger

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